The VP Debate: Sex Sells for Sarah

Hello readers. For those of you at LVC, this post is an article I wrote for La Vie. The good editors who watch over our publication chose to trim it down to size, so here's the "director's cut", if you will. Is the Internet the next wave of journalism?

After watching the Vice Presidential debates, I felt more than a little disappointed.

I tuned in on Thursday night hoping for credibility and entertainment, and was left wanting. They might as well have been moderated by Ed McMahon, what with all the vicious talking heads in the mainstream media hyping the event, like it was some sort of epic cage match, chainsaws and all.

“In the left corner we have Joseph ‘Ole’ Joe’ Biden. And in the right corner stands Sarah ‘The Bulldog’ Palin’.” I could almost hear McMahon over the loud speakers.

After all this hype, the debates were relatively anti-climatic. Palin didn’t come off as a complete twit, despite the “Couric Interview” and Biden kept his notorious tongue in check, a move that may have been too cautious. Both candidates skirted issues and avoided questions, while moving the dialogue towards their respective strong points and scoring minor victories.

All the buzz words, obviously prepared sound bites, and displays of etiquette were present and accounted for. I lost track of how many times Palin said “maverick” more than necessary really. Unfortunately, it seems that Palin’s “cute” persona is here to stay, and that high pitched voice makes me feel punchy.

In all truth, the debate was more of what we would have expected had both candidates been regular politicians, which they are.

This goes to show how the mainstream media and respective campaigns have high jacked the levity of the Presidential election and turned them into a three ring circus. All hail the mighty ratings and poll numbers, and damn the truth to hell. But, I digress.

So who really won the VP debate? Biden did a somewhat better job of getting his points across than Palin, and he also has the advantage of running on a platform that is good for the country. Unfortunately, Palin clinched the victory for the debate thanks to one ad found on the website Craigslist: “Wanted. One Sarah Palin look alike for Adult Film. No anal required.”

Apparently the pay is $2,000 to $3,000. One could assume that this is depending on whether or not the actress has a pair of “Palin Glasses”.

What depraved sexual deviant can even think about a respected Vice Presidential Candidate that way? Now that you mention it, I think I can. Palin certainly turned up her “cute” factor, now being cute all the time as opposed to only when she doesn’t know the answer to a question. It may have the booze talking, but when she said “drill, drill, drill,” and gave the camera a little wink, I found myself thinking, “would I?” Good job, Grand Old People, you have replaced your ‘crusty old white man’ look with a marginally hot hockey mom. Can we talk about the issues now?

- Rev.