This is my Boomstick! (Or how I have come to stop worrying and love firearms)

I Stumbled across a list on Geoff Metcalf's website this morning called 40 Reasons for Gun Control. A tongue in cheek look at government hypocrisy in regards to gun control, the list offers an interesting view of how politicians and activists spin the issue. Being an advocate for Second Amendment rights, I feel that the list made a good point. (Yes, Geoff Metcalf is a Conservative, but I give him benefit of the doubt.)

I couldn't tell you where my fascination with guns came from, but it is certainly there. Not wanting to beat around the bush any longer, I'm just going to say this so that there are no more questions: I think guns are awesome.

This doesn't mean that I think violence is awesome. Being an active pacifist, I believe violence to be the antithesis of awesome (unless zombies are involved). It's just things that go "boom" have always held a certain appeal to me. Furthermore, adhering to a mentality of "pacifism no matter what" is just naive and silly. If you aren't willing to and/or prepared to defend yourself from harm, Darwin makes it a point to take care of the rest of your (shortened) life.

Zombies aside, American citizens have the right to defend their personal belongings, personal freedoms, and lives. Personal defense against criminals seeking to harm you goes without saying, but I see a larger issue here. Should the right to bear arms be taken away, where does that put the United States of America on the scale of fascism? Look at it this way: if police officers and soldiers, ie. government lackeys, are allowed to tote firearms and we are not, are the scales of power tipped too far in the wrong direction? While Second Amendment rights are not going away anytime soon, when the issue inevitably comes up again, that point should be brought to the table.

Anyway, enough of this jibber jabber. For those of you strapped for Christmas ideas, here's my favorite revolver. It's called The Judge and it fires .45 slugs or .410 shotgun shells. I need it for zombies.

Speaking of zombies, here's your random video for the day: NAZI SNOW ZOMBIES!

Being that i Godwined my own post, that's all for now.

- Rev.

Entertainment Tonight

For starters: Perhaps it is time for me to make this whole blag thing a regular habit. Why not? At least it isn't Xanga.

On my mind right now is this new fantasy television show called Legend of the Seeker. Episode one was aired on November 1, but I just found it on Hulu today.

Any who,

I'm about five minutes into the pilot episode and I must say that I'm quite impressed with how stereotypical the show is.

Opening scene: large breasted women are riding horses, fleeing from some "damsel in distress" inducing problem. The women are clad in flattering, low cut dresses which one would assume to be too impractical for equine recreation. One dies, one epically escapes using some form of witchery. Cue epic opening theme song played on top of Peter Jackson-esque scenery shots.

Scene two opens with a close up of some shirtless beefcake's abs as he uses an ax in a most manly fashion. Presumably this is the protagonist, given the amount of on camera time his pecs got.

After finishing the episode, I realized that I need not comment any further than the opening scenes. The script writing, acting, and plot make it very clear as to why the show had to use sex appeal to hook you into watching. After the boobs, Legend of the Speaker goes downhill. As fantasy shows go, this one fell down the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

If you are itching for an idea of the current plot line, think about Star Wars and King Arthur having an inbred child.

For something more entertaining, here is a video that proves Japanese cops are trained in how to use a lightsaber. It's worth your time, trust me. I'd like to think that the guy at the end is saying "Princess Leia gives me a boner, desu!" But it's probably just a quick advertisement for Panty Vending Machines.


That's all for now.

- Rev.

New Music from David Hartman!

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen. The illustrious David Christopher Hartman has laid down a new track for your aural pleasure. Check it out at his MySpace. The song is called Whistlestop, and I give it my seal of approval. Seriously, shameless promotion of my best friend aside, this is a good song and you should listen to it.

- Rev.

With Apologies to Mom and Dad: A Call to Arms at LVC for the Reformation of Marijuana Laws

An Open Letter to Lebanon Valley College Administration and Students:

Yesterday, my best friend was suspended from school and banned from campus for a year and a half, spent the night on a steel cot, and is facing two felony charges and a misdemeanor. What crime is he guilty of that warrants such heinous retribution? Why, it was simply the possession of a plant. Because he, an adult citizen of the United States of America, refused to buy into the propaganda and bullshit behind this “evil” flora he now faces a setback in his academic development and a criminal record that could haunt him forever. In this foul year of our lord, 2008, the mentality of our government is still decidedly anti-Marijuana, and to what end?

In 2005, there were 43,443 alcohol related traffic fatalities. Every year there are approximately 100,000 alcohol related deaths overall. Every weekend, bars are open until 2:00 AM and freely serve liquor, wine, and beer to those patrons who are of age. And in 2007 alone, there were exactly zero deaths related to marijuana overdose. The government condones the sale and consumption of alcohol, while it chases after and persecutes marijuana users more ardently than they pursue rapists and child molesters. While my friend is being banned from the Lebanon Valley College campus, there are five registered sex offenders living within a stone’s throw of my house. I know that I have been accused of being irrational, combative, and impulsive... but am I really the only one who sees a problem with this?

In my three years of college I have seen a drunk throw a chair, get in a fight with his best friend, destroy college property, and raise all sorts of hell. In my three years of college I have not once seen somebody under the influence of marijuana raise a hand against friend or foe, knock over a trash can, or otherwise be a total dick. Marijuana has countless medical benefits which could do good for all of mankind. Industrial hemp is a useful and environmentally sound alternative to cotton, plastics, glass, has many nutrition benefits, and doesn’t even get you high. Yet it is illegal because of its kinship with cannabis. Who else sees a discrepancy here?

LVC Administrators and Students, I am writing to tell you that neither I nor my fellow students will stand for this anymore. I, for one, refuse to relegate myself to the shadows with this anymore. I am willing to standup as a proud American citizen and say, “I support, and am willing to fight for, the decriminalization of marijuana.”

So, dear readers, especially those of you at LVC, I am going to go about establishing a chapter of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws on the Lebanon Valley College campus. Who’s with me?

Rev.

PS:
Here’s a video of Seth McFarlane (creator of Family Guy) talking at Stanford. About five minutes into the video he gives a good rundown of why pot was made illegal in the first place. Here’s a spoiler: it was because of a government lobbyist back in the 1800’s. Check it out at about 4:30 minutes... you'll be enlightened if you haven't been already.

PPS:
This post is dedicated to the man who was persecuted by these swine. I'm sorry that it took a tragedy to move me to activism. Big ups to a true blood.

The VP Debate: Sex Sells for Sarah

Hello readers. For those of you at LVC, this post is an article I wrote for La Vie. The good editors who watch over our publication chose to trim it down to size, so here's the "director's cut", if you will. Is the Internet the next wave of journalism?

After watching the Vice Presidential debates, I felt more than a little disappointed.

I tuned in on Thursday night hoping for credibility and entertainment, and was left wanting. They might as well have been moderated by Ed McMahon, what with all the vicious talking heads in the mainstream media hyping the event, like it was some sort of epic cage match, chainsaws and all.

“In the left corner we have Joseph ‘Ole’ Joe’ Biden. And in the right corner stands Sarah ‘The Bulldog’ Palin’.” I could almost hear McMahon over the loud speakers.

After all this hype, the debates were relatively anti-climatic. Palin didn’t come off as a complete twit, despite the “Couric Interview” and Biden kept his notorious tongue in check, a move that may have been too cautious. Both candidates skirted issues and avoided questions, while moving the dialogue towards their respective strong points and scoring minor victories.

All the buzz words, obviously prepared sound bites, and displays of etiquette were present and accounted for. I lost track of how many times Palin said “maverick” more than necessary really. Unfortunately, it seems that Palin’s “cute” persona is here to stay, and that high pitched voice makes me feel punchy.

In all truth, the debate was more of what we would have expected had both candidates been regular politicians, which they are.

This goes to show how the mainstream media and respective campaigns have high jacked the levity of the Presidential election and turned them into a three ring circus. All hail the mighty ratings and poll numbers, and damn the truth to hell. But, I digress.

So who really won the VP debate? Biden did a somewhat better job of getting his points across than Palin, and he also has the advantage of running on a platform that is good for the country. Unfortunately, Palin clinched the victory for the debate thanks to one ad found on the website Craigslist: “Wanted. One Sarah Palin look alike for Adult Film. No anal required.”

Apparently the pay is $2,000 to $3,000. One could assume that this is depending on whether or not the actress has a pair of “Palin Glasses”.

What depraved sexual deviant can even think about a respected Vice Presidential Candidate that way? Now that you mention it, I think I can. Palin certainly turned up her “cute” factor, now being cute all the time as opposed to only when she doesn’t know the answer to a question. It may have the booze talking, but when she said “drill, drill, drill,” and gave the camera a little wink, I found myself thinking, “would I?” Good job, Grand Old People, you have replaced your ‘crusty old white man’ look with a marginally hot hockey mom. Can we talk about the issues now?

- Rev.